You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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