It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
