so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
