this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
