remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
