How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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