Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
