No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
