weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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