The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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