He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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