I think my fart just growled at me.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
