Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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