and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
