What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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