Just fell off a train. Bad.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
