i just wanna soil my oats bro
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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