Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
BRING THE BAGELS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
