So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
