Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
