I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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