I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
