Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
