i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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