I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
