how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
