I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
