It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
