i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
