I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
