loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
