So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
