i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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