So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
