I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
