I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
