Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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