Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
