By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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