i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
