FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
