I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
