No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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