Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
