honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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