my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
someone owes me an orgasm
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
