My nipple is on Facebook.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
