Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
