I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
