you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
