I bet he comes in French.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
