You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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